Whatever your opinion about the police handling of the Raoul Moat fiasco, I imagine you feel as uncomfortable as I do about the strange outpouring of hero worship that has appeared on blogs, forums and Facebook in recent days. Despite shooting his ex girlfriend, killing her boyfriend and shooting a police officer in the face at close range, almost 23,000 people have joined a Facebook group called ‘RIP RAOUL MOAT YOU LEGEND!’ I can think of many words to describe Moat: dangerously misguided, mentally unstable, addict, abusive, aggressive and clearly in need of psychiatric help but ‘legend’ he is not.
More worryingly, many of the people holding Moat up as some kind of anti establishment hero are claiming that the real monsters in all this are women. Yes really. There are some gems on the Facebook page including ‘’wata guy! Dats wa apenz wen women melt ya so much tha push ya da insanity’’. Eloquently put. Another priceless contribution was from Anthony who offered ‘’HOPE OTHER WOMEN LEARN FROM HIS WOMAN MISTAKE. KEEP YOUR FUCKING LEGS SHUT WHILE YOUR MAN IS AWAY’’. And it’s not just men spewing this bile. Tina Reid added ‘’your ex is shambles fucking devious lying cow – should be her in a coffin’’.
I then came across a blog from Benjamin Barton who is apparently hoping to become an MP – god help us all – which I wont go into in too much detail as I currently have flames coming out of my ears, but do please follow the link and have a look yourself. If you don’t have time, a choice excerpt is: ‘’if she hadn’t cheated on him, lied to him, deceived him, badmouthed him and demeaned his morale, all of this would never have happened. Naturally she didn’t expect the reaction that she got but she had to expect a reaction’’. You get the picture?
http://benjaminbartonformp.wordpress.com/2010/07/10/why-i-apportion-a-lot-of-the-blame-from-the-raoul-moat-shooting-on-samantha-stobbart/
Rather than, yet again, blaming the victims of abuse for whatever violence is meted out to them perhaps we should be asking some very serious questions like why, despite receiving information from prison guards that Samantha Stobbart was in danger from Moat, did police not offer her protection? And more importantly, what can we do about the depressing reality that so many people seem to think that women can be held partly responsible for the violence inflicted upon them by partners?
When Samatha Stobbart began dating Moat she was a naïve, uneducated 16 year old girl charmed by a 32 year old man who flattered her and showered her with gifts. According to Stobbart and her friends and family, the 6 year relationship was soon riddled with domestic violence and she had tried to leave several times but Moat had promised to hurt her and their daughter if she left. When Samantha escaped to her grandmother’s house, Moat turned up with a gun and threatened the entire family. Even in Moats rambling letter to police he admitted he wanted not to kill Samantha but to maim her and leave ugly scars so that she would always be reminded ‘never to treat a man like that again’. (Very reminiscent of a certain Zoo advice column).
We know that Samantha was terrified of Moat coming out of prison and that out of fear, she pretended to be dating a police officer hoping that would scare him away. Sadly it didn’t work and now Samantha finds herself accused of ‘taunting’ Moat by making up these lies.
What I find most shocking about this whole case is the idea that this was a totally unexpected incident. Seeing Moat’s previous convictions including the prison term for assaulting a nine year old child, and hearing of the years of abuse he rained on his partner including allegedly splitting her head open and stamping on her stomach, how can anybody say that this was a shock? Domestic violence is VIOLENCE. It’s not a special little semi-violence that is partly the fault of an annoying woman provoking/disrespecting/nagging a man. If a man is capable of years of assault on a woman he purports to love, is an addict, is known to use and own guns and has a criminal record as long as his arm, he is clearly a danger.
For now, I would like to see Samantha Stobbart left alone. I would also like to see Facebook remove Moat’s sick ‘fan’ page due to thousands of comments left inciting hatred and violence to women. I would like to see the IPCC properly investigate why Stobbart was not offered protection when Moat left prison. And for the future, I would like so much more…. I want to live in a society where women stop getting blamed for being stuck in violent relationships but I am beginning to worry that things are only getting worse.
I found this really thought-provoking, thank you. The venom directly at Moat's ex from men, but more particularly from women, is baffling. All this in defence of a man who (as well as everything else) was known to cheat on his partners often. In fact when an earlier girlfriend found out he was seeing another woman he told her that a suicide pact was the only way for them to be together exclusively as he couldn't choose between the two. She was so much in his thrall that she agreed. He later gave her an STI while she was pregnant (he wouldn't let her use contraception because he said it would allow her to cheat - nice). And yet it is Stobbart's actions in trying to extricate herself from a damaging relationship that are judged.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the point about Moat has been made - but as you say it is the wider attitudes that have been allowed to come to light here that are worrying too. In my view one of the first steps that needs to be taken is for women to stand together in offering support and solidarity to women trapped in abusive relationships - rather than stigmatising them as being somehow other/ or weaker. Domestic violence can affect all kinds of women, and I think the recurrent focus on what makes the women victims (as if their suffering is an inevitability, a result of their inherent inadequacy)just serves to reinforce the idea of domestic violence being a lesser crime. You sum up the myth of this 'special little semi-violence' excellently here.
Long comment but you really got me thinking Charli!
I realli think he was a ledgend cos of how he got the police wound up. money well spent
ReplyDelete